Coaching their sons creates unique memories for Fedderly, Piron and Thorpe

Batavia head football coach Dennis Piron and his staff did their job. That was the fun part.

"Now I've got to do some damage control," Piron said after Batavia's 21-7 win over a tough St. Charles North team.

One of his receivers had let slip a long pass behind the defense. It almost certainly would have gone for a touchdown.

Complicating things is the receiver was his son, Peyton, a senior.

The father-son relationship can be tricky to begin with. In any sport where Coach is also Mom or Dad, it can take on multiple layers encompassing perceptions from within and without.

Aurora Christian coach David Beebe is an uncle to recent Eagles players Ryan McQuade and Chad Beebe. As the coach said, "The stakes always go up when it's blood."

"I think the difficulty is the expectation that you have," Dennis Piron said. "I think you've been around it so long together you expect things to be mistake-free. It's something another kid might get a pass on if they do it wrong. But if your own child does it wrong it's never quite as easy, that's for sure."

The athlete also has his own set of expectations, of people to please.

When so much effort is put into a sport as well as a relationship, it's hard to divest from emotion. For as long as parents have coached their offspring the nagging default perception of this arrangement is one of unequal opportunity, favoritism. Even when an athlete's skill demands playing time it's a hard thought to avoid.

Coaches know this and will err toward the side of caution. Especially nowadays when platforms for airing grievances are so prevalent.

Marmion football coach Dan Thorpe called the scenario "worrisome."

Thorpe sent his son, Macade, through Marmion. Of course, Macade played football, a tight end and defensive end who graduated in 2012. Dan said, "Every head coach enjoys it and it is also a burden."

"I mean, you always want it to be fair to the other kids but you also need to be fair to your own son," he said. "We had the understanding that he would have to be better than the kids at the other positions, which cheated him out of an experience because I didn't want people to feel that he was getting preferential treatment. Honestly, he probably was cheated out of playing time.

"It was what it was."

It can be wonderful.

"It was great in 2010 when we went to state and he was on special teams and he was able to experience that journey," Thorpe said. "We were both blessed to enjoy that time together, and the excitement."

Connor Fedderly and his father, Kaneland coach Tom Fedderly, shared the excitement of a program record in their Sept. 26 game against DeKalb. Though the Knights lost the game they rallied late, and Connor, a senior receiver, finished with 12 receptions for a Kaneland-record 294 yards, which ranks 11th in state history. For a program that's boasted Don Beebe and P.J. Fleck, who called Wednesday to congratulate Tom Fedderly, that was a moment to be savored.

"The first thing I thought is, I'm so happy my mom and dad (Hans and Sherri) were there," said Tom, who noted his son's achievement is still the result of teamwork.

Fedderly's parents have been at all of Tom's games at Kaneland, and so has Connor. He served as Kaneland's water boy from third grade until he got into high school. Then he was the varsity ball boy, after playing in the sophomore game.

From Casey Crosby to Quinn Buschbacher and all the Brent Harners, Boone Thorgesens and Jody Henningsons in between, Connor Fedderly has had a sideline view.

"I just really have been excited for him to have his senior year, to have his shot as a leader," said Tom Fedderly, who also has a junior on the Knights' girls volleyball team, Hollie. "He's been on our sideline ever since he could walk. All he ever wanted to be was a Kaneland Knight."

Tom has also coached Connor in youth basketball. From a very early age he and his wife, Kathi, discussed the ramifications of being a coach's son. It's an ongoing topic.

"We talk about it when we feel that it's time for us to talk," Tom said of his wife's advisory role.

"I didn't really know it was going to be true," Connor said. "but as soon as I got into high school a lot of people started saying stuff," Connor said. "But I shook it right off because you can't really listen to what people say. A lot of people are going to bring you down if they can."

Like Thorpe and Piron, Tom Fedderly said he coaches his son "harder" and has more expectations for him. Those expectations aren't statistically driven. They're based on the concepts of playing with heart and playing up to his potential.

"I can't try to do too much," Connor Fedderly said, "but I always try to prove people wrong because I know people are saying stuff. I play with a chip on my shoulder because I think that's the way you should play. I just try to play the best I can play and try to prove people wrong."

We usually hear parents showering their children with praise and pride. In these cases that can also trickle upward. Kaneland football has had a boat load of success, and Connor credits his father for helping put the Knights in position to win. He likes having his father as the head coach. Part of the territory is knowing where the line is drawn.

"I know that he knows what he's doing and I trust him lot, and I'm not going to question what he's doing," Connor said.

As we age time seems to speed by faster and faster. The ball boy is promoted to water boy. Suddenly he is a senior leader. Week 1 blurs into Week 9 and soon he graduates. Dates on pictures and videos tell the linear truth but to a mother and father it's hard to believe how fast time has gone, and with it their children.

Batavia's Dennis Piron entered the season saying it would be an emotional one for him, seeing not only his son Peyton but also all of his buddies in their last year of high school ball, friends Dennis has known "since they were infants." He's tried to record brief mental snapshots of this season, "to pay attention" to the little things that don't involve strategy and game plans.

It's reassuring to know the offspring also are paying attention.

"This is the time of my life," Connor Fedderly said. "They always told me senior year is the best time and it really is true. Senior year is going really fast, but I'm enjoying every minute of it."

doberhelman@dailyherald.com

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